In a Procrastinating State of Mind

No matter what I do, I can't get myself to stop doing (insert brainless time wasting task here) and start on a research project that is due this coming Monday. It's not like it is anything hard. It's just that I've been in this perpetual rut that I can't get out of.

Though it's not just this project, it's been almost everything in my life. I can't start up on anything. Ever since Katrina, I can't seem to get things rolling like I was able to do before the storm. I'm not wallowing in my misery or anything like that, because, well, there's nothing in my life to be miserable about. Instead, there are annoyances. My current list of annoyances are:

1. My job. I'm no longer in a job that offers me the luxury of moving onto a better place. (IOW, promotions) Why, you ask? Well, there ain't nowhere to go. I no longer have the 3 weeks paid vacation I use to get (and I sooooooo sorely miss) and even more irritating, I barely pull off 30 hours, which is 10 below my pre-Kat average. And then there's the boss...The only reason I'm sticking around is because I desperately need the insurance.

2. The restaurant I work at has great food. This is bad because I gained over 5 pounds since working there. *sigh* I was doing soooo good before I started. DAMN YOUR INCREDIBLY TASTY CRAWFISH PASTA!!!!

3. The restaurant I work at has great food. This is bad because I do have to pay for the stuff. (DUH!!) Finances aren't what they use to be kids. Neither has Angie's will power.*sigh*

4. I've been soooo freaking lazy that it's not even funny. Actually, it kinda is . Join in! HAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

5. My social life is non-existent, and I'm not just talking about dating. There's a reason I get so freaking excited to go visit my favorite family in good ol' Miss-suh-sip-ee: It's because there's a guaranteed social event going down. I rarely see what friends I do have left floating (no pun intended) in this city. That all has to do with new work schedules. *sigh* growing up sucks What's even sadder is that the few rare oppurtunities that have sprung up in the past, I ducked out of! Lordlordlordlordlord!!

6. Let me start the blame game: It all started with the stress from Katrina that has now been carried over with the existence of it almost everywhere I go...Okay, so it's mainly at work. What the heck am I talking about? Smoking. Yep, smoking. It's claim another addict in me. I'm wanting to quit (I would say trying, but I've been so unsuccessful at that, I'm not even going to call it "trying".)

7. My color theory teacher talks down to ya. She's verrry condescending. Do teachers not no how frustrated it makes a student feel when they answer your question with a look that screams "ARE YOU STUPID??!!"

It's like my whole past year is simply wasted time. I no longer live for the present, but instead for the future (which is not exactly how I prefer to live.) My pep talks consist of " well, you'll only be doing this for (insert number here) more months, and that'll be it", but gosh, that's getting so tiring.

How does one get out of this? It's not depression (if that's what ya thinking) becasue I had it before; I remember what it felt like. All I need is to get a fire going under me, but, well, it's not been a happening.

I can't help but wonder if I'm rolling along the edges of a downward spiral, just barely out of reach of it's gravity.

Any suggestions? (and please, PLEASE, don't suggest triple fudge ice-cream or anything of that sort! Need I remind you annoyance #2?)


Stacey said...

(I tried to post this 3 times last night, to be brutally shot down by blogger. Dangit.)

Just keep telling yourself "This too shall pass." You only have 6 more months before you are a degreed professional with many, many more job prospects than you have now. So say it with me: "This too shall pass." Lord knows I've said it to myself enough lately. Bad situations are generally only temporary.

Love ya, babe. Get yourself some more vacay time, and don't get drunk before coming up here again. *wink*

Brou HahHah said...

Stacey's onto something for the "this too shall pass". The other thing is to have a goal. Make them small. Like one night you bring your food (something healthy) and say no to the pasta. Once you see you do still have control, keep doing it.

Take back your life, sister. Watch your confidence soar once you get on the road to doing it.

Cajun504 said...

The shelf life of this post is probably over, as I see it was June 23 and it's now July 6...but there are those among us who have decent jobs outside of food service who still have unfulfilled social lives.