Humor Can Be Your Saving Grace

Sometimes, the only thing you can do to save your ass is to use what god given talents you have, even if it is only a smidgen of a talent.

Case in point:

Today, I was needed to work the floor at my restaurant as a waitress. My job mainly consists of hosting and selling tickets to eager tourist. Oh, yea, I should have mentioned that I am a employee of a small neighborhood restaurant that is in conjunction with tours that are offered in our wonderful city.

But I digress...

Anyhoo, I was needed to work the floor, which is something I’m only called on to help with every blue moon. I’m always around to lend a helping hand to my employers, especially when I can earn some extra moula in the process!

As soon as our establishment opened, the people begun a flowing. Of course, I happened to get the first couple of group tables that walked in. One was a table of cops in disguise. ( I didn’t find out till they left...and that’s a whole other story...)

They patiently waited for about ten minutes at their table while I ran around the restaurant like a chicken with her head cut off with high hopes of actually waiting on their table.

I was finally allowed to access their table in which I went into major happy huge smile waitress mode, who really wanted to make her table think that she was here for them and only for them...even if it was ten minutes later.

“I’m so sorry it took so long, but thank you for patiently waiting. So what can I get you guys for lunch?”

“I’ll get the shrimp poboy, dressed,”guy number one says.

“I’ll take the pasta,” says guy number two.

“Give me the special,” says guy number three.

“Yea, I want a oyster poboy dressed with *mumble, mumble* and lettuce *mumble* with butter,” mumbles guy number four.

And last, but certainly not least, guy number five gave me his order for one of our half club combo.

Now, imagine me, after getting these guys orders, guys who were probably a little antsy for having to wait so long and upset that they won’t be able to get out the restaurant as soon as they wanted.

Now imagine my inner thoughts in realizing that I have to ask someone to repeat himself because his was babbling like a drunk.

I did the only thing a server could so in this situation. I went ring around the table and read off their orders to confirm and hope that guy number four can speak up when he goes to correct me. *Sigh* It didn’t go as I planned.

“No. I said *mumble* no lettuce, *mumble* and butter.”

Uhhhh, goes through my confused mind. Okay, let’s try again.

“ok sir. That was an oyster poboy with lettuce, tomato, mayo and butter?”

“NO. I said NO lettuce, tomato, pickles and butter ONLY.”

“I’m so sorry sir; it seems as though it is not meant for me to get your order right. Sadly, I heard you say no lettuce, but apparently my mouth didn’t agree. Okay, so that was....”

So my brain was officially fried at trying desperately to understand what Mr. Mumbles said. As you read, I heard him say loud and clear no lettuce, but for some strange reason, I said the opposite. I finally succeeded in hearing him in round four in this challenge, which not only did I understand Mr. Mumbles, but I could actually repeat it. Ahhhh...it was finally over.

NOT!!

I gave my order to the kitchen and they informed me that their was no half club. Oh, and I didn’t get what Mr. Mumbles wanted with his poboy (as in, you want fries with that?).

Shit, man.

I went back to the table, informed the club guy that his club is a no go. He grunted and changed the order. Then I popped over to Mr. Mumbles and get his side item.

These guys were irritated and I was doing my best to keep the irritation on the down low.

Luckily, the bad vibes disappeared with what they have all been waiting for, their food.

Before I ran away, I made sure to cap off their lunch with a little side entertainment in which I gave them some advice for their next visit.

“ Well, I hope y’all enjoy y’all meals, and just remember the next time y’all come on over, make sure you request to NOT get Angie, that way your lunch will be as smoothly as possible.”

I was sooooo glad to hear chuckles as I walked away. Bad vibes gone, good ones in, along with a pretty darn decent tip...