7.27.2005

Conversations with the cat

“Ch-ch-ch-changes...”

Sing on Brother Bowie, sing on.

Sometimes, you feel that it’s the right time. What it’s the right time, depends on who you are and , well, what you need. For me, I need a change. I’ve been feeling that way for, hmm, maybe about four years now. Yes, it is quite a long time, but, well, you know.

I’m ready for that change, at least emotionally I am. Now am I financially ready...that is a totally different subject.

Every other day my thoughts float into the notion of traveling and seeing what the nation, no, the world has to offer. God willing, I only have about fifty more years till Death beckons me to her arms. Which also would give me somewhere around thirty more years of a participating body, to go along with my soul! Ahhh...to think, there actually was a time in our lives in which we couldn’t wait to grow up. How I long for those days of future past.

I had a conversation with Nova, my cat, in which I told him I was ready to move on. I asked if he was. Surprisingly, his answer was yes, he was ready to move on...to his food bowl. Ahhh...to have to troubles and worries of a cat. How I envy thee...

The other day I called my brother up.

“Kenny, are you available for lunch or dinner one day?”

“What? What’s this about?”

“What?! Can’t a sister ask her brother out for a meal?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, Kenny, you’ve figured me out. Here I was thinking I could pull a fast one on you. My real motive was so I could hit you up for some cash,” I answered back sarcastically.

Laughter could be heard.

My brother and I have never been what one would call close. I can’t think of the countless times in my life in which I tried desperately to achieve some kind of bond with him. The notion has occurred to me that I’m chasing a cloud. It’s not something that I’ll ever be able to obtain. Though I was struck with the fact that one day, hopefully in the far, far future, my brother will be my only family. As much as I want them to, my parents will not live forever. Death will greet them, and knowing my parents, they’ll gladly welcome her.

So that’s what that outing attempt was. I want to bond with my brother.

The older I get, the more I realize that I’m a person who’d very comfortable with who she is and isn’t really scared of being alone. I’m perfectly calm at the notion of never finding that “someone” and never having kids. Though there are people I know who simply freak out with that type of radical thinking (way too many folk think that view is one hundred percent pessimistic...what ignorant times we live in,) I just don’t believe it’s for everyone. It’s not my calling. Now my friend Satcey on the other hand... ;)

It’s all random thoughts. I think “Lost in Translation” had an effect on me. A positive effect, but an effect on me none the less.

“...turn and face the strain.”

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